The other day Darren told me that we needed to hold some "Memorials". I didn't quite know what he was talking about until he expounded....
We'll get "on track" as far as being organized goes, or when it comes to our goals and raising our children. But as the days pass and life deals its circumstances, we begin to veer "off track". His "memorials" are a way of getting back "on track". So, now we have several "memorial days" each month to keep us "on track". (These "" are wearying me...I'm gonna stop :) )
Last night as I lay down in bed, I prayed for God to help me get on track with Him. I've been feeling WAAAY off track. (Ever been there?) Usually I'll know right away, but for some reason this time I felt the distance, but couldn't seem to put my finger on it.
As I awoke this morning, It was as if God was waiting for me. (Isn't He soooo loving and patient and GOOD to work in our lives? :) ) He gave me a memorial service. :) He reminded me that I've not had the servant's heart I once longed to have. It's not like He'd not been trying to tell me. But, you see, I refused to repent. I'd been doing bunches of confession, but in my heart, I had no desire to repent. As I woke this morning, my heart longed for sweet fellowship with Him and He once again reminded me....for some reason, this morning He had my attention.
I've been getting irritated when I've been the only one up working (that irritation should have moved me to a training mindset with my children, instead of self pity). When Darren asked me to do something for him, I did it in body, but was irritated to no end in my heart. Totally NOT a servant, as the Lord showed me years ago a servant should be.
So, I stand resolved (yet again) to commit this work to the Lord. I've been sweetly, lovingly reminded. Today was a memorial day for me. It was a good day!
Lord, lift me up and let me stand by faith on heaven's table land - a higher plain that I have found. Lord plant my feet on higher ground!
Lord, Increase my faith. (Luke 17:5.....)