Friday, February 26, 2010

Happy Where I Stand

What a GREAT week! :) God is good and His promises are SURE! How firm a foundation! :)
I am so blessed! On the homefront things are sweet. I'm so glad that Bro. Mart and I stuck things out when things were rough.

As I read back through my posts, I realize how "ideal" my life seems. (And it IS so good! :) But, speaking for the naive readers, we do have our "issues", as every family does. I just haven't felt "ok" posting any of them. I often think of what a blessing it would have been to me to learn of how other ladies overcame the way God has taught me. And yet again, don't get me wrong. Sometimes I have to pray, "Dear Lord, PLEASE help me to never get stupid and just walk away from all I know is right." does that shock you? When I feel that way, immediately the question enters my mind, "WHERE is there TO go? I mean, there's NO other place that's as good as where I am." :) (Satan's a jerk!...tempting women to leave the sanctity of our homes!) I don't have the wisdom to communicate the "problems" in an appropriate way...make sense? Also, I don't mind telling MY faults, I'm just not sure how Darren and the kiddos would feel with my "sharing" their

I should be journaling instead of blogging, eh? That-a-way I'd be able to go back and "share" later on...? Gotta go journal :)...

John 6:68

Thanks for your prayers! God is so faithful....LOVE it! :)

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Standing on the Promises

Lately, I REALLY am struggling with submission....struggling with my flesh...

So many times I talk of claiming the verse "Commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established" (Proverbs 16:3)

Well, this week, I am standing on the Promises of God! I am purposing in my heart to walk by faith and not by sight.

It's easy to commit my works to what He wants me to even when I don't understand...because He has done soo much for me. I only have to get my eyes off
MYSELF and others and get them on HIM! :)

Brethren, pray for me.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Where Did the Time Go??

It only seemed like yesterday when she was placed in my arms. I'll never forget the overwhelming feeling I had. I've never had it again, and I WILL never have it again. She introduced me to it. You may think that this seems odd, since I've had five more children since her. But, it's the truth. I don't love her more than the other five, but I've not had the feeling since Kelsi introduced me to it. And, again, (as I've said in a previous post) I don't know what to call the feeling. (I need to work on my vocabulary, yes?) I'll attempt to describe it.

My first thought when I first laid my eyes on her was, "So, YOU're the lil' bundle that introduced me to that horrible heartburn!" :) Then they placed the weighty little bundle into my arms was like a wave of fear smashed me in the face. If I were an animal, I'd have bared my teeth and chased away EVERYONE...because everyone was out to hurt her. (wierd, huh?) The only explanation for this feeling is that I can't handle even the effects me so wildly. I was so afraid that she was going to get hurt by someone, and I was totally UP to being her protector! (Please tell me there's someone out there in cyber land who's felt the same way?)

SHE's the one who introduced me to that feeling, and it was that first OVERWHELMING that shook me to the very core. I feel the same toward all my children (you mothers know exactly what I'm talking about, eh?) , but it HIT me so, so hard with Kelsi. It's the first time there was someone more important that ME. The feeling was no longer new or overwhelming with the others.

Here recently, she was "attacked" by one of the ladies who is a "client" where she works. (mentally handicapped) I got soooo angry when I heard it. I felt like jumping into the van, and turning again into my "old self". That's when the thought struck me (yet again), that she is no longer under my protection (she NEVER was...after all, what can **I** do to protect her?). She has a Father in heaven who is stronger than I am and who loves her more that I do! :)

And now, I look at "lil' girl"...and I marvel at the mighty work of my Lord Jesus Christ! I stand in awe that this young woman who was raised by such a terribly FLAWED momma (And of course, a wonderful, yet flawed poppa) as I, could turn out to be a lover of my Jesus....who has a desire to serve Him. Oh, how I praise His name!

And it is into the loving care of her heavenly Father and mine, that I gladly release my "hold" on her. She is His, and I find such great comfort in this. She gave us her heart long ago, and we have gladly surrendered her heart to Him, and rejoice in the knowledge that of all the places it could have gone, her heart is where it belongs.

God has beautiful plans that include my beautiful daughter. In this, I also rejoice. I have such hopes for her. But I must always remember that this isn't what matters. What matters is God's will and what He wants for her...and it may not be what I want, ya know?

And so again, as so many times before, Kelsi-boo, I dedicate you to the love and care of Jesus Christ, our Lord. I love you more than you'll ever know...

Happy Birthday!

P.S. Daddy would have a word or twenty to add...because you're HIS until Mr. Right comes and sweeps you away.