WOW! Has it already been nearly a year? Goodness!
It is the eleventh hour and I should be in bed snuggled against my man. But, here I sit on this computer playing...of all things...I'm ashamed to admit...Spider Solitair. Can we say "idle time"? How many other things could this homeschooling momma of 6 and pastor's wife be doing? Hey! I could be blogging, for Homer's sake! (why do we always use "Pete"?)
Getting ready for another busy school year. We've had company for the past TWO months (PLUS) and are expecting company again next month for our mission's conference. Then the month following AGAIN for our family rally. Can you say, "busy"?
Okay...so this past week I applied for a job online. I know...I know! No need to say what's on your mind...no matter who you are, I've probably thought the same things...hey, probably even spoken aloud to meself about them! (yes, and even ANSWERED myself....now you know..I'm really crazy!)
ANYHOO....I didn't get the job. Talk about "bustin' mah bubble"! Now, I've been struggling with the "low self esteem" thing for the past couple of days. I have been in denial about these feelings, but, why so? God knows my heart...and now you do on the matter!
Why was I wanting to work?....I got this grand idea that I'd work to earn extra money for braces for a couple of the kiddos. Really, Tina! You knew better! And God confirmed it and put me in my place! Yay, God! :) I really am thankful.
So, you'd think it'd be my teen aged children struggling with their self esteem. But, NO! It's their
middle agED momma. Thoughts like: What have you accomplished with your life, Tina? A: Nothing. What have you EVER started and finished, Tina? A: Nothing! (Consider this blog for instance....nearly a YEAR since I've posted?!?! I can still hardly believe it.) Are Darren's clothes even ready for the morning, Tina? A: NO, they are not.
Silly thoughts that I've secretly rebuked other folks for voicing...CRAZY thoughts, because AFTER ALL, God loves me, I AM SAVED by the blood of Jesus! :) :) I have an AWESOME marriage and six great kiddos. WHY allow myself to dwell on such things? I chose this life, and I'm glad I did. Are there things I'd have done differently? Absolutely. But, I learn as I go along. My older kiddos have a testimony of loving my Lord and often freely express their own desire to serve Him. They have missed so much of this world's emptiness, because of my choice to "miss" so much.
SOOOOO, GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN!!! I have chosen the most excellent ways! >: l
Now, I'm going to my comfy cozy bed and snuggling next to my darlin's warm body in my airconditioned bedroom that's in my awesome house that sits on a beautiful property on the edge of a small town with a beautiful view of the rolling hills and farm land...
AFTER I shut out the lights, lock the doors and windows, and get them kiddos into their own beds!
Life is somethin'! Aint it? ;)