Patience is a virtue...

...and I'm striving to be a virtuous woman, but I must confess, I'm totally lacking in this area of patience.

When the Preacher surrendered to the ministry, I wanted to know WHAT ministry, WHERE were we going to live, WHEN we were going to be sent out, and HOW it was going to all come about.

When he knew that he would be a church planting missionary, I wanted to know WHERE! As we traveled around to other churches in the mid-west (at least we had that pin-pointed...?) I was ready to settle in every town that needed a church. Every church, it seemed, that we visited, wanted us to go the "So-and-so" town (the need is great) and I earnestly prayed for that town. "YES!" I was thinking..."Let's go there." Next church: "YUP! That's the place."

HOW in the world was God going to let us know where we were going to minister??? Good, solid, Bible believing churches were needed all over the USA. Was the sun going to burst through the clouds in the distance, and a bright beam point the way (while the symphony music played in the background...lol).

I WANT TO KNOW NOW!!! YESTERDAY!!!

Have you ever just had a feeling that something (or someone) was right, and it JUST WASN'T HAPPENING??? O KAAAAAAY already! WHEN is it going to happen?!?!????

**sigh**

Oh, how VERY thankful I am for God's Word!!! (And for my awesome, STEADY, patient man...oh how I love that man!)

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He hath made everything beautiful IN HIS TIME...

**sigh**

The New Teen in the House

Melanie turned 13 in June. Actually, she turned 13 (you'd think) about 5 years ago...lol. She was my smallest baby weighing in at a whopping 7lb. 13oz. (compared to my 11 and 12 pounders). I remember crying to Darren because her eyes were soooo big...I thought for a while that she had Down's Syndrome. It's so funny now that I think of it...I even had Darren worried. She was a joy from the get go!

I don't have too many infant pictures of her. When she was born, we had a lot of stress in the family because Darren had just gotten out of the military, and we moved out into the civilian world. I have some floating around somewhere, but I can't find them at the moment. Kelsi was so thrilled to finally have a little sister. She dressed her when it was time to leave the hospital. You'd never know today that she was so excited about a sister. Those two fight like cats and dogs... :(

Melanie was so prissy from the very beginning. We'd say, "Mel, Prissy Prissy!" and she'd pick up her shoulders and do a little dance. It was sooo cute. She played with her baby dolls, stopping only long enough to take a fishing trip with her Dad and brothers. She'd soon tire of it, and head back to the baby dolls. She did change her clothes a whole bunch. We used to call her "Mrs. Bagget" (after an older lady at the nursing home who could be found by following a trail of stolen clothes) Her song: Here comes Mel Mel, hopping down the Mel Mel Trail...Lookin' to the left, lookin' to the right...makin' sure aint nobody in sight!" (Sung somewhat to the tune of Peter Cotton Tail)

A couple of years after she was born, she got a real live baby doll when Timothy was born. I've a picture of her somewhere holding him in the hospital. She has always been the little momma.

Here she is again a few years later with little Abby. This picture tells so much about her personality: The little prissy momma! :)

She was too young to be embarrassed by her snaggle tooth appearance. Mel has always been so joyful. It's rare when she's not captured with a smile on her face. If the pictures could talk, you'd hear her laughter.

This photo shoot began her interest in photography. She's began playing around with computer photography programs and seems to have a real talent. (I'll post a couple of her photos in a future blog) Melanie is a "get-r-done" type of gal. Just yesterday we were putting contact paper down in the church cabinets. She worked circles around me, but I had to stop her and tell her that details were important in this job. She'll do her school work so diligently, and will actually do it correctly, but it will not be the neatest work. Another amazing quality about her, is that she remembers where just about everything is. When we are missing something, we ask her and are absolutely amazed when she leads us to it. Cell phones, keys, MP-3 players, glasses, wallets...she remembers where she saw them! She's going to be a blessing to some guy some day....an awesome help meet.

She adds such an element of joy into the house with her "blonde ways", her light hearted mood, and her giggle. "They" say that 13 is a rebellious age. I've not experienced it with her (nor any other of my kiddos). Quite the contrary: they are becoming more and more of a joy.

Happy Birthday, Melanie Aubyn. I love you with amazing love, and am so thankful to know that God loves you MORE THAN THAT!

Jaimie My Boy

James turned 15 in March. I've not had the time to blog, but decided to MAKE time tonight, or it'll never get done. In the picture above, I had a horrendous headache. It's funny the memories I'm having. I wasn't going to post, but I'm gonna! I know that one day we are gonna look back at all of these "funnies" and marvel at the miracle of James! :) He was delivered by c-section, and the shot in my back ended up giving me a BAD spinal headache. I can say that TRULY, he was a pain from the VERY beginning!

Wasn't he sooo cute?!? (Oh how I miss my baby days!) Right from the get go, James was "all boy"! Someone once told me, "Well, if you're gonna have one (a boy), then that's the kind you wanna have!" (ha ha) He loved his momma (still does!...has a special name for me: Marmie!) Can you believe that this cute lil' guy is the ONLY baby I've ever "lost it" with? Really! One night he was crying and crying and crying. I was sooooo soooo tired, got up, walked to that crib and "yanked" that baby out of the crib to nurse him...He was startled into silence (that ONLY lasted a fraction of a second), then REALLLY let it out. I started bawlin' right with him because I felt so bad for "losin' it". Poor guy. Little did I know he'd be the biggest lil' stinker throughout all his growin' days...(hind sight is 20/20!)

I see each picture and think, "Now, isn't that just CUTE?!?!?" (I may be a bit biased, but I don't think so!) How could one little buster be so cute and loving one minute, then turn around and be a GREAT BIG STINKER!

O.K. now....here's an example. The guy is playing with his pocket knife, and stabs himself! I tried so badly not to show my "momma panick" (I think I did a GREAT job!) That knife went smack through his thumb...IN the top, OUT the bottom! BTW, we didn't have insurance (I was praying that he'd not get tetanus!) My mom and dad flipped (it WOULD have to happen at their house!). These are the kinds of things the boy puts me through! Bike ramping OVER my head! Flipping into the swimming pool and off the trampoline...climbing to the tip-top of the tree...bringing in the snakes and collecting the tadpoles. (He once had a "tad-pole farm" of over 500! Nana was priviledged to host them on her front porch, ya know! Boy, what a sight when they all started turning to frogs!) Oh, how I'm going to miss all of this one of these days!

What boy doesn't like to hunt and fish? I told my boys from the get go that they'd not shoot anything that they'll not eat. I don't know WHAT KIND of bird it was that was cooked in the oven and came out smaller than a pecan! (ha ha!) Yup! I made him bite off the meat and chew away!...YES he swallowed it! I put a fear of guns into them, too. Darren and I pulled up pictures of gun-shot wounds off of the internet and made them look at them before they could carry even a BB gun! He's been outside traipsin' the woods ever since! He did have his gun taken from him for a good while once....he threatened to shoot Timothy's toes off!

I remember once when he came up to me to give me a hug I had to tell him, "Not so tight!" He said, "Ok, Marmie!...no bear hug this time." Then he put his arms around me and said, "Cub Hug!" (Melts my heart just thinkin' of it!...truly! :) He's a lot of tender and a bit o' tuff! And I've been blessed to receive so much tender care from him! My Jamie! :)

What a worker this kid is! Weeeeeellll....He's not too good in the kitchen...more specifically, with the dishes. He HATES to be inside. He would live out doors if we'd let him. He loves yard work, keeping the vehicles clean, working on his pens - keeping the fences secure,...WHATEVER he can find to do outside that's productive, THAT's what he likes. How very pleased I am with his work ethics!

The boy can also have us rolling around in stitches! He can be soooo funny!

I know that one day, we'll look back on James's childhood days with laughter. So mischievous, the boy was. He's growing out of it now (THANK GOD!...those seemingly "useless" spankins' are payin' off!) We'll wonder, "How in the world did such a ornery boy turn out to be such a fine fella?!?"

I love you, Jamie my boy! You are a great source of joy to your momma! Keep lovin' and servin' Jesus...keep "weddin in yuda wan!" (That's the way he used to sing "Dwelling in Beulah Land"...in a deep little husky voice...sooo cute!)

Thank you, God, for my Jamie! Give us wisdom with the few years left that we'll have him in our home.

Happy Where I Stand

What a GREAT week! :) God is good and His promises are SURE! How firm a foundation! :)
I am so blessed! On the homefront things are sweet. I'm so glad that Bro. Mart and I stuck things out when things were rough.

As I read back through my posts, I realize how "ideal" my life seems. (And it IS so good! :) But, speaking for the naive readers, we do have our "issues", as every family does. I just haven't felt "ok" posting any of them. I often think of what a blessing it would have been to me to learn of how other ladies overcame the way God has taught me. And yet again, don't get me wrong. Sometimes I have to pray, "Dear Lord, PLEASE help me to never get stupid and just walk away from all I know is right." does that shock you? When I feel that way, immediately the question enters my mind, "WHERE is there TO go? I mean, there's NO other place that's as good as where I am." :) (Satan's a jerk!...tempting women to leave the sanctity of our homes!) I don't have the wisdom to communicate the "problems" in an appropriate way...make sense? Also, I don't mind telling MY faults, I'm just not sure how Darren and the kiddos would feel with my "sharing" their faults...lol.

I should be journaling instead of blogging, eh? That-a-way I'd be able to go back and "share" later on...? Gotta go journal :)...

John 6:68


Thanks for your prayers! God is so faithful....LOVE it! :)

Standing on the Promises

Lately, I REALLY am struggling with submission....struggling with my flesh...

So many times I talk of claiming the verse "Commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established" (Proverbs 16:3)

Well, this week, I am standing on the Promises of God! I am purposing in my heart to walk by faith and not by sight.

It's easy to commit my works to Him...do what He wants me to even when I don't understand...because He has done soo much for me. I only have to get my eyes off
MYSELF and others and get them on HIM! :)

Brethren, pray for me.

Where Did the Time Go??

It only seemed like yesterday when she was placed in my arms. I'll never forget the overwhelming feeling I had. I've never had it again, and I WILL never have it again. She introduced me to it. You may think that this seems odd, since I've had five more children since her. But, it's the truth. I don't love her more than the other five, but I've not had the feeling since Kelsi introduced me to it. And, again, (as I've said in a previous post) I don't know what to call the feeling. (I need to work on my vocabulary, yes?) I'll attempt to describe it.

My first thought when I first laid my eyes on her was, "So, YOU're the lil' bundle that introduced me to that horrible heartburn!" :) Then they placed the weighty little bundle into my arms and...it was like a wave of fear smashed me in the face. If I were an animal, I'd have bared my teeth and chased away EVERYONE...because everyone was out to hurt her. (wierd, huh?) The only explanation for this feeling is that I can't handle even the NEWS...it effects me so wildly. I was so afraid that she was going to get hurt by someone, and I was totally UP to being her protector! (Please tell me there's someone out there in cyber land who's felt the same way?)



SHE's the one who introduced me to that feeling, and it was that first OVERWHELMING that shook me to the very core. I feel the same toward all my children (you mothers know exactly what I'm talking about, eh?) , but it HIT me so, so hard with Kelsi. It's the first time there was someone more important that ME. The feeling was no longer new or overwhelming with the others.


Here recently, she was "attacked" by one of the ladies who is a "client" where she works. (mentally handicapped) I got soooo angry when I heard it. I felt like jumping into the van, and turning again into my "old self". That's when the thought struck me (yet again), that she is no longer under my protection (she NEVER was...after all, what can **I** do to protect her?). She has a Father in heaven who is stronger than I am and who loves her more that I do! :)


And now, I look at her...my "lil' girl"...and I marvel at the mighty work of my Lord Jesus Christ! I stand in awe that this young woman who was raised by such a terribly FLAWED momma (And of course, a wonderful, yet flawed poppa) as I, could turn out to be a lover of my Jesus....who has a desire to serve Him. Oh, how I praise His name!


And it is into the loving care of her heavenly Father and mine, that I gladly release my "hold" on her. She is His, and I find such great comfort in this. She gave us her heart long ago, and we have gladly surrendered her heart to Him, and rejoice in the knowledge that of all the places it could have gone, her heart is where it belongs.

God has beautiful plans that include my beautiful daughter. In this, I also rejoice. I have such hopes for her. But I must always remember that this isn't what matters. What matters is God's will and what He wants for her...and it may not be what I want, ya know?

And so again, as so many times before, Kelsi-boo, I dedicate you to the love and care of Jesus Christ, our Lord. I love you more than you'll ever know...

Happy Birthday!

P.S. Daddy would have a word or twenty to add...because you're HIS until Mr. Right comes and sweeps you away.

God's Good and Perfect Gift

The other night my man stood before me...peppered gray hair and beard, boxer shorts and white t-shirt, black socks (one slouched down to his ankle), and belly and chest that have been worked on by gravity. My heart filled with such amazing love that overwhelmed me beyond understanding. He looked at me and asked, "What's wrong?....Tina!?!?...what is it?" Then, I started laughing...I mean really laughing. When I was able to calm down, I overwhelmed HIM with the knowledge (once again) that I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM!!! (We call these times "moments", and I was having one. They are so precious.)

We looked in the mirror at ourselves...laughing and tearing at the same time...revelling in each other's love and laughing at our pitiful physiques...My how times have changed! We used to be so young...fit...beautiful. But now, we are two middle aged folk who are more in love with each other than when we first met! The butterflies still come, and the hearts still flutter. :) Marriage is a gift from God, and I marvel at the fact that He compares it with Christ and the church. How beautiful!